Ep3 TOMBOY IN A TRANCE

Billie and her older sister Jean sit at a dinner theater table as Eddie Davis, magician/hypnotist extraordinaire, begins his act.  The teen tomboy, dressed as usual in her Harding High track suit, looks glum and annoyed as she stares away from the stage.  Her sister, on the other hand, appears absolutely delighted.  Five years older than the romping hoyden, Jean Carol is very much the opposite of Billie: mature, sophisticated and aggressively feminine, a real looker.

“What’s the matter, Billie?  Why aren’t you clapping?” asks Jean.

“For Davis?  No way!” replies the disgruntled track star.  “The only reason I’m here at all is to protect you from that gorilla!”

“My dear little sister, how many times do I have to tell you?” Jean states in a friendly but firm voice.  “I find Edward rather charming.  A true gentleman!  Just look at him… such style, such raw talent!”

At that very moment, the oh-so-talented Mister Davis is pulling a rabbit out of his hat.  Voila!  Everyone in the audience cheers enthusiastically as Eddie proudly takes a bow, holding the displayed, writhing little creature by the ears.

“Bravo, bravo!” Jean shouts, almost giddily, as her applause joined the others.

A rabbit out of a hat?  “Oh brother!” Billie groans, rolling her eyes.  Not to mention that Eddie, in his usual thoughtless way, happens to be mistreating an innocent and defenseless animal.  Then a wild, mischievous idea pops into her moppet’s brain.  Billie beams slyly as she reaches down, then emerges with her tried-and-true, no-tomboy-should-be-without-one slingshot.  Aiming carefully while everyone around is busy clapping, the teen loads a cupcake, pulls the sling band back and ZING! – gets off a perfect shot!

“Oww!” yells Eddie as the cupcake swiftly finds its mark, splattering him in the face!  Disoriented, he instantly lets go of the grateful rabbit, who scampers right off stage.  Thinking this goofy assault was part of the act, everyone watching just laughs and laughs.

But no one laughs louder than Billie.  Not exactly a fool, Eddie hears her mocking guffaws over everyone else’s chortling and decides some decisive retaliation is in order.

“For my next trick, I require a little assistance from someone in the audience,” Mr. Magician announces calmly, wiping the cake from his face.  “Perhaps the boisterous youngster sitting at that table over there…?”

“He means you, Billie!” laughs Jean, dazzled that superstar Eddie is making them part of his act.

“Oh yeah?  Well forget it!” Billie snaps, not about to take part in anything that would make Eddie look good.

“Now, now… mustn’t be shy!” Eddie charmingly taunts.  “I realize that sharing the stage with the Great Edwardo is a tad intimidating, but there’s no reason to be scared out of your wits.”

That salvo of reverse psychology clearly does the trick.  “Me?  Afraid to face some full-of-hooey Houdini?”  Billie barks back.  Then a sly grin spreads across the tomboy’s pixie-like face.  “Okay…  Let’s see how ‘great’ the great Edwardo really is!”  With the finesse of a natural athlete, young Ms. Carol runs from her table and jumps right onto the stage.  She then struts over to Eddie, places her fists on her hips and grins at him challengingly.

“My, you’re a muscular little sprite, aren’t you?” he says matter-of-factly, drawing attention to the tomboy’s decidedly non-feminine physique.

“So?”

“So I’m afraid all the physical strength in the world is useless against the power of extreme magic.”

Billie just sneers at him.  “Nobody believes in that hocus-pocus baloney," she declares.  "Now you're gonna have to prove it.  You've gotten yourself into a hairy situation, pal."

Instantly, Eddie flashes a yellow kerchief in front of Billie with the words FUNNY SHE SHOULD SAY THAT… written largely upon it.  Just as swiftly, he yanks it away… revealing an astonished Billie now sporting a large, cartoon-style mustache on her lip!

Ho-ho-ho and a half!  A hairy situation indeed.  As the stunned girl looked about, the theater audience before her begins laughing.  And when Billie’s eyes finally lower, and she actually touches her ridiculous larger-than-life ‘stache, the raucous reaction seems to reach fever pitch.

Tickled like everyone else, an impressed Jean energetically applauds this unexpected comical salvo, giving credit where credit is due.  Smooth Eddie takes a moment from his performance to flash a glance at the senior Carol sister.  She has always been an attractive prospect for his amorous appetite, and he seems to be growing hungrier by the moment.

Meantime, a frustrated Billie grabs the fake mustache, tears it off her face and throws it to the floor.  “That was a dirty trick, Davis!” she shouts, turning to her oh-so-smug adversary.  “Now you’re gonna pay!”

But Eddie just shakes his head in “tsk tsk” disapproval.  “Isn’t this a sorry sight,” he observes.  “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” 

With that, he turns away from Billie and faces his receptive audience.  “Ladies and gentlemen, as proof that every family has a black sheep, and every litter an embarrassing runt, I’d like to introduce this tomboy’s sister, the lovely and beautiful Miss Jean Carol.  Jean, stand up and show these folks what I’m talking about!”

Hearing that, a blushing, extremely flattered Jean stands up at her table, beaming with pride as everyone about her claps in approval.  She then locks eyes with Eddie, smiles gratefully and coyly blows him a decidedly sexy kiss!

Pleased with himself in general, Eddie responds to his adoring ladyfriend with a wink.   None of this sits very well with Billie, of course, who fumes at the sight of Jean under Eddie’s spell.  “Hurting defenseless rabbits is bad enough,” she tells him, “But if you put your dirty hands on my sister, I’ll haul back and –“  “Uh-uh-uh” replies Edwardo, stopping Billie right in her tracks with a sudden admonishing finger.  The teen athlete summons great patience and manages to keep a lid on her temper, at least for the moment.

Swiftly, a smoothly confident Eddie instructs the orchestra behind him to play – of all things – “The Beat,” Billie’s rock and roll power song.  BC is bewildered…why would her greatest nemesis cue the music that enables her to amplify her physical strength?  Even Jean seems confused by Davis’ seemingly counter-productive move.

Meanwhile, almost automatically, the Beat’s rock and roll rhythm power-charges Billie.  The teen girl grins, bobs her head; she gets an exhilarating personal high as the strength builds up within her body. 

“It’s the Beat, ladies and gentlemen!” Magician Eddie grandly announces.  “Let’s hear it from you folks!  Beat!  Beat!  Beat!

Everyone begins chanting, and Billie grins even more.  If Eddie was dumb enough to start this pro-BC process going, who is she to disappoint him?  She clenches her fist and gets ready to wallop dummy Davis with a Beat-enhanced haymaker! 

But as she takes a swing, Eddie stops her cold by flashing his previously unseen hypno-ring, which sparkles to life.  He follows this with a sudden gesture of his finger.  Caught in her adversary’s hypnotic spell, Billie has no choice but do follow the direction of this finger… which exhorts her not to strike him, but to punch herself instead!  There’s a wild moment of shock on Billie’s face as she watches her fist steadily turn and aim itself in her own chin's direction.

The dinner audience happily watches, giddy with anticipation.  Jean is also bemused, and is pleased to see that, at the very least, Billie’s unladylike effort to deck Eddie has thankfully been restrained.  But what exactly is the master magician/local jock up to?  Meanwhile, the Beat music is reaching fever pitch.  Billie's arm edges back, her fist about to spring forward...

“Go ahead, tomboy.  Knock yourself out!” a grinning Eddie commands.

POW!!!

Punching her own lights out, Billie goes careening backward, finally landing spread-eagled on the restaurant floor.  The self-vanquished Beat Queen is deep, deep in dreamland now, knocked senseless by -- ironically enough -- the Beat itself. 

Not surprisingly, laughter and applause greet this funny, unexpected bit of dinner theater.  “She who lives by the fist, gets clobbered by the fist,” smooth-as-silk Eddie pithily observes.  Then he takes a bow, rises and raises his hand in an inviting gesture.  “Jean Carol, would you join me up here, please?” Eddie requests.  A little embarrassed to walk on stage and share the spotlight, Jean finally manages to do just that.  Applauding his performance, she is soon pulled by his side… and appears to like the feeling.  Even so… “I ought to be mad at you for hurting my sister Billie,” Jean says coyly, obviously playing a little game with him.  “Moi?  I didn’t lay a hand on her, right, ladies and gents?”

More applause.  "Not to worry," he assures beautiful Jean.  "Your little tomboy needed to cool off for awhile."  Then he turns his attention to the dinner theater audience.  “Show's over, folks.  Hope you had a terrific time.  Remember, I’ll be back tomorrow night with a whole new performance."  Next, it's back to Jean.  “How about dinner, a drink and some idle chit-chat?," he offers, reminding his ladyfriend that "the night is still young.”  With that, the more demure of the Carol sisters shoots an inviting smile in her suitor’s direction. 

They make their way back to Jean’s table, and a waiter comes by to serve them.  He even brings along a candelabra and lights it, candle-by-candle.  Romance clearly seems to be in the air this fine evening.

Meanwhile, still splayed on the floor and ignored by both workers and patrons, Billie finally stirs to consciousness.  She raises a hand to her woozy head, looks about…

Holy crap!  That’s Eddie Davis and sister Jean clinking drinks together!

Billie snarls, picks herself up and races over to their table.

“No more tricks, Davis!” Billie shouts, threatening Eddie with yet another clenched fist. 

“Oh Billie, grow up!” an annoyed Jean admonishes her younger sister.

“Only after I cut this two-bit Svengali down to size!” she retorts, getting ready to do a little damage.

Once again, Fast Eddie Davis, magician, star athlete and ladies’ man, is ready for Billie’s attack.  He flashes his powerful hypno-ring before Billie can strike, instantly hitting her with another powerful whammy.  Billie struggles as Davis effortlessly brings the tomboy to her knees.  “Knuckles to the ground, runt,” he commands.  Helpless in the grip of Eddie’s hypnotic spell, blank-eyed Billie has no choice but to obey his command and slump to the floor.

Jean, meanwhile, is astonished… and elated.  “Eddie, that’s amazing!  She’s completely under control!  No one’s been able to tame my wild tomboy sister before.  Even mom and dad gave up, eventually.”

“I’m a man of many talents, sweet lady,” Eddie explains, taking Jean’s hand and kissing it oh so gallantly.  “From now on, you won’t have to worry about Billie giving you grief.  She’ll be docile instead of defiant, a totally obedient teenager.  I'll see to that.”

Jean still can’t believe what Eddie has just accomplished, a fact he uses to get closer, even as he pours a second drink for her to down.

As for Billie, she remains on her knees, almost doglike, leaning over horizontally with both powerful arms holding her head upright.  The girl’s eyes and her mind seem to be totally blank as she crouches next to the table where sister Jean and arch-nemesis Eddie Davis continue to enjoy their dinner.

A short while later, one of the restaurant’s band musicians is playing a romantic gypsy violin for the couple’s benefit, even as entranced Jean and lady-killer Eddie are finishing dessert, clinking champagne glasses.  Would-be rescuer Billie, eyes still glazed and mind fully-numbed, remains “parked” by the side of their table. 

But now, coming up from behind the girl’s firmly-planted arms, is that same little white rabbit who was being manhandled so thoughtlessly by Eddie in his magic act, the critter that Billie helped out with her slingshot.  This grateful little hopster licks her benefactor’s hand incessantly, trying to break BC out of Davis’ “taming” trance.  No response.  Running out of options, the bunny finally bites Billie --  who feels the pain yet remains silent, going all crossed-eyed as she absorbs it.  But the rescue worked; Billie breaks free of Eddie’s mind-controlling spell.  Playing it smart, she decides to remain in automaton mode, listening to Davis and Jean at the dinner table while waiting for the right moment to turn things around.   

“Babe, whadda you say we split this pit and have a night on the town?” Eddie whispers into Jean’s ear, making his big move.  “Why Mr. Davis, I thought you’d never ask!” she replies with a grin.  “Just give me five minutes in the little girl’s room, and we’ll be off... ”

Jean stands, plants a little kiss on his lips, then leaves the table and heads to the bathroom.  One of the stage musicians who’s been watching her gradual seduction gives the self-satisfied Mr. Davis a “thumbs up."  Eddie raises a glass to this admirer, downs it, then rubs his hands in anticipation of the hot evening to come.  Still, first things first…

“Stand up, stupid,” he commands Billie.

Billie, pretending to be mindless and tamed, instantly stands up before Davis, arms by her sides.  She looks like a robot waiting for her next command.

“Now hear this,” Eddie tells her, not wasting any time.  “I intend to give your beautiful sister the full treatment tonight, and I don’t want any interference from some tomboy twerp.  So here are your orders…”

Billie, raging inside, summons tremendous self-control as her ruthless “master” tells her what to do.

“I want to you dash down to Harding High, then use that remarkable Beat of yours to run around the schoolyard three... no, make that four dozen times.  Work up a nice sweat.  That oughta keep you busy for the rest of the night.  Now haul ass!”

Blank-eyed Billie instantly races forward with a professional runner’s momentum, thrusting her clenched fists in front of her as she pistons to the commanded destination.

Almost on cue, one of the waiters dutifully opens the restaurant door as Billie jogs right through it, without missing a beat (to coin a phrase).  He closes the door behind her, then walks over to Eddie.

“Congratulations, sir,” he tells Davis while the master magician/hypnotist fills yet another glass.  “You certainly took care of that problem in a hurry.”

How true, how true.  But before grinning Eddie can raise glass to mouth…

BLAM!

That same door slams open… and racing through the restaurant straight toward Eddie (and an astonished, backing-off waiter) is Beat Queen Billie, never looking more formidable as her pumping arms and clenched fists draw nearer!

“What the --?  How the hell did --  OOOOOOFFFFFFFF!!"

With almost superhuman dexterity, Beat-propelled Billie leaps into the air and drop-kicks a stunned Eddie, knocking him right into a fully-occupied dinner table!  Panicking patrons scramble away as the rattled “master” tries to regain his footing…

But Billie’s not about to let this creep get the better of her again.  A powerful punch to Davis’ stomach doubles him over, and he slumps right in front of her.  Hmmm…  Since Eddie’s mussed hair is now at her eye level, Billie grabs it and swings him around by it, the girl athlete’s amazing Beat power enabling her to swivel a boy who weighs so much more than she does.  “Have a nice ride, tomboy tamer!” she laughs, looking for just the right place for Eddie to land.

At that very moment, an unsuspecting Jean emerges from the ladies’ room… and her eyes BUG!

Billie finishes her Eddie “swing” and finally lets go, watching with unrestrained glee as her adversary crashes into a long table with pastries and other desserts that were about to be served.

One of the whipped cream concoctions goes flying into the air…

“Billie, that does it!” Jean Carol fumes.  “When I get you home, I intend to – “

PLOP!  The gloppy treat smacks Jean right in the kisser!

Aghast, Billie claps hands over her mouth, nervously looking at the damage she's accidentally caused her suddenly assaulted sister.

But Jean, after recovering from the initial shock, surprises Billie by playing it cool.  She calmly removes the whipped cream from her assaulted eyes and face with a methodical, long-suffered gesture that would make Oliver Hardy proud.

Seeing this, Billie playfully points at her ‘good sport’ sister and laughs… and laughs.

Pragmatic Jean even takes a quick lick of the cream, reacts with a “not bad” expression.

…and Billie laughs some more.  

As for the Great Edwardo, he’s still sitting in a heap, dazed, disheveled, and propped up by an overturned table.  As this hapless headliner attempts to upright himself, the little bunny rabbit he previously abused appears from behind him… to energetically bite his hand!  Yowwwch!


2 comments:

bud_bierly said...

Loved this story with it's intentional nods to the Famous Studios' Popeye cartoon, "A Balmy Swami!" And, as in the case with many FS cartoons, we find ourselves actually getting turned on by the fact that the so-called villain of the piece and the beautiful girl are getting together while the so-called hero is out of the picture. Like Popeye in many cartoons, Billie is actually the initial aggressor in this story. Eddie was just doing his act. I was spellbound (an appropriate word for this story) by the fact that Eddie uses the Beat itself to have Billie knock herself out and that Billie is totally helpless and in Eddie's power due to the hypnotic ring. And, in another clever nod to many Popeye cartoons, you have the little animal saving the day. Well done! Keep the stories coming!

GirlPower said...

Believe it or not, this tale was actually based on a BILLIE TV treatment that set up all three characters in a hypno-scenario, which proves that the old Popeye 'toons were clearly an inspiration. Yeah, Billie is sort of the aggressor here with her sling-shot attack, although Eddie didn't give a damn if he was hurting the rabbit, which kind of justifies her reaction. Your point about Eddie compelling Billie to use the Beat against herself is most significant, especially when you consider Jean's happy approval of it: she's been telling Billie how wrong she is to do tomboyish things, and now B's gotten a taste of her own medicine, proving the point. Jean's equally pleased to see her sister "quieted down" and tamed by Eddie, something that doesn't happen very often. That said, Jean really deserves that humiliating cake in the face for a) falling for a smooth but obvious operator like Eddie, and b) not appreciating her sister's super-athletic talents. For the record, that hypnotic ring of Eddie's makes a return appearance in a later story... stay tooned!